Perfect You

How To Enjoy Life

How To Enjoy Life

We all judge, whether we want to or not. Transforming our judgements can take us closer to experiencing, and enjoying, the world as it really is, rather than how we think it is. To Judge Or Not To Judge Raw judgements rarely help us except in urgent situations where we don’t have time to process our thinking. A figure approaching us from a dark alleyway with something silver glittering in its hand is probably going to trigger a judgement that this is ‘dangerous and bad’. Our snap judgement could be wrong, of course, and there’s a chance (albeit very...

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The Secret Of Happiness

The Secret Of Happiness

Plenty of people claim to know the secret of happiness. They sell books about it, run seminars and some even get rich by revealing it. If I knew the secret to happiness then maybe even I could make a small fortune, catapulting this site to the top and making me famous. As you probably guessed, I don’t have the secret to happiness. It’s not because I don’t know what it is but because there is no secret to happiness. That’s right. No secret. “But what about all those gurus who claim to know what it is? Surely they must...

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Mind Your Own Business

Mind Your Own Business

If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine?  We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work. To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety and fear. Do I know what’s right for myself? That is my only business. Let me work with that before...

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Searching For Honesty

Searching For Honesty

Often I hear honesty talked about as black or white – either I’m honest or dishonest in what I say. It’s even combined with the common habit of labelling so that people are then classified into honest or dishonest. Isn’t it a bit trickier than that? Is ‘honesty’ really that straightforward? Honesty – a core value I consider honesty one of the core values we all share and strive for – not least with ourselves. One of my teachers put it something like this: ‘We’re all searching for our Truth. The problem is we’re surrounded by half-truth, so we...

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Interrupting With Grace

Interrupting With Grace

Do you hate it when people interrupt you? You know those situations – when you’re half way through expressing your thought and someone butts in and starts jabbering themselves? I confess I do it, myself. Yes, it’s true. I am an interrupter! Why do people interrupt I’ve been thinking about this for some time and there are several possible reasons, why I interrupt: I want to annoy you and guess this will do the trick I know what you’re going to say and I’ll express it better than you possibly could I disagree with you and can’t wait to...

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Curse Of The SuperBrain

Curse Of The SuperBrain

Sometimes I wonder if our lightning fast brains are a blessing or a curse. Obviously, when I talk about ‘lightning fast brains’ I’m not talking about me here, but about everyone else!   And, yes, before anyone points it out, I am well aware the title of the post sounds like the name of a 50’s B movie. Our awesome brains The human brain is really quite incredible, allowing us to process complex information and create thoughts in a flash. Depending on your beliefs, it’s either the result of millions of years of evolution or of an utterly brilliant...

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Do We Really See People?

Do We Really See People?

In a typical day I probably see about 100 people. Most of them I pass by on the street with hardly a glance. Family and friends get more of my attention, but even if I’m close, intimate or loving it still scratches the surface of who they are as human beings. Rarely do I take the time to REALLY see them. I believe that one of the roots of violence, physical or emotional, is when I fail to see others as human beings. It’s impossible for me intentionally to hurt another person when I’m in an authentic connection with...

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Balancing On Top Of The World

Balancing On Top Of The World

Often I catch myself saying that I’d like more balance in my life. A bit more of this, a bit less of that. Sometimes I want to be more rooted and not so much moving from place to place. At other times I look for more time for writing and not so much wasted time. Or I could do with more fee earning work and less time invested in developing a peaceful future. Of course, in other periods all these are turned exactly in the opposite direction. There always seems to be some aspect of my life where I’m...

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Me, You and Us

Me, You and Us

Some time ago I read ‘In Perfect Timing’, the autobiography of Peter Caddy, one of the founders of the Findhorn Community in Scotland (if you get a chance to visit I highly recommend this place). In 1945 he was stationed in Burma and he describes a trip from Rangoon to Puri, on the Bay of Bengal, where he had agreed to meet his friend Bill. “I lay on my bedroll, drinking tea and watched the colourful panorama pass by the window: green fields, young wheat, yellow mustard, rustic dwellings and attractive wells, all set off against a beautiful sky...

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Peeling Off the Labels

Peeling Off the Labels

I had some fun role-playing at a workshop for trainers I was leading last week. Some of the group wanted to practice a ’selling’ conversation with a businessman to attract interest in a training course. I took the part of a 50 year old guy (this really stretched my acting skills!!!) with suit, tie, brief case and a hard shell to crack. A bit of play, some serious conversations and some great learning. Then at the end of the day one person told me how helpful the exercise had been because: “for the first time in my life I...

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