In a typical day I probably see about 100 people. Most of them I pass by on the street with hardly a glance. Family and friends get more of my attention, but even if I’m close, intimate or loving it still scratches the surface of who they are as human beings.

Rarely do I take the time to REALLY see them.

I believe that one of the roots of violence, physical or emotional, is when I fail to see others as human beings. It’s impossible for me intentionally to hurt another person when I’m in an authentic connection with them and fully in touch with our shared humanity.

When I can REALLY see people, hurting them is the same as hurting myself.

And loving them is the same as loving myself.

I REALLY see another person when I …

… look deeply and gently into their eyes and remind myself this could just be the last time I ever see them.

… take this moment as an opportunity to explore their uniqueness: they are one of a kind and there are no others exactly the same as this one.

… feel their power, the vast, untapped potential and future possibilities existing there.

… open myself to receive the gifts they have to offer me and to the world.

… marvel at the wisdom and resources they possess, maybe without even being aware of it themselves.

… connect to my desire for this person to be truly happy, peaceful, safe, courageous, fearless … loving and loved.

… hold this person in the universal kindness available to all of us.

… touch the pain this person has suffered on their journey through life: the suffering, disappointments, failures, losses and hurts that are part of living.

… am with this person without any desire to fix them, change them, solve their problems or take any of their history from them.

… face their accumulated scars with respect and reverence, knowing they are nothing to be afraid of but signs of what brought them to me in this precise moment.

… hold them in the great compassion available to us all.

… bask in the love behind those eyes and accept that unconditional love flowing through them and around them.

… imagine, without expectation, what we could achieve together if we joined forces and what wonders we could create with our combined skills, wisdom, love and strength.

… smile at the fun and joy we could share if we so chose.

… connect to our common humanity and the vast web of life from where we both came and to where we will both return.

Do we REALLY see the people in front of us?